On a Super Tuesday on which we can also celebrate the 33rd anniversary of the USFL, LARams.net reckons it's an appropriate time to rerun this piece, which was originally posted in October of last year. The point: If you must vote Republican, please don't vote for the guy who killed the most noble experiment in American professional sports...
Donald Trump has a massive lead over his would-be competitors for the Republican nomination for president in 2016. This writer is an unabashed stat guy when enjoying two obsessions – football and electoral politics – so let’s crunch some numbers.
• US census bureau statistics say that 23.1% of the population is under 18 and thus ineligible to vote. Of the estimated 318.9 million, this leaves 222.9 potential voters.
• A Gallup poll taken in January 2015 shows that some 26% of registered voters identify as Republican, representing about 57.96 million. A further 43% call themselves independent for a total of 153.81 million who could vote for Trump in November.
• The non-profit organization website fairvote.org finds that voter turnout for a U.S. presidential election is about 60%, thus making a total of about 92.28 million.
• Finally, of this voting bloc of 92.28 million, right around 60% call themselves sports fans, making the total number of sports fans who could vote for Trump about 55.37 million.
It is for these 55.37 million people – and specifically the 21.6 million (39%) or so who call football their favorite sport to watch – that LARams.net presents three reasons why football fans should not vote for Donald Trump.
1. He killed the USFL.First, watch the video directly below. If you’ve seen it before, watch it again. If you’re just here for The Donald, go straight to 13:55.
Look, not only did Trump pretty much single-handedly destroy the greatest thing to happen to sports in the entire ESPN Era – and, let’s face it, with the way we “experience” sports since the 1980s, that’s the most appropriate moniker – he killed *dreams*, people. Red, white and blue American dreams of coming from Nowhere, USA, and ascending into greatness through hard work.
Or as Small Potatoes director Mike Tollin put it, “The legacy [of the USFL] is, to me, a mixed one because ultimately it can’t really be deemed a success. But it has to be, on another level, considered successful because it had such a positive impact on so many lives and so many people look back on it with such affection that you can’t just dismiss it … it’s a great piece of Americana.”
Every child of the 80s remembers how The
Egomaniac Donald micturated all over this Americana and destroyed the possibility of spring football so thoroughly that not even Vince McMahon could bring it back. Trump smoked mid-level business entrepreneurs, Burt “The Longest Yard” Reynolds and Fred Besana in an effort to, what, stay on TV?
Today, Trump refers to the USFL (when *he* can remember it) as “small potatoes,” stating that “we had a good court case.” Hell, he probably still refers to dudes like Steve Young, Jim Kelly, Doug Flutie, Reggie White, Gary Barbaro and Herschel Walker as “losers.”
How could anyone against the USFL ever be elected president? This fortysomething smh’s at the possibility.
2. He backs that execrable Washington football team name *and* the franchise owner.
*Not* a loser in Trump’s opinion is Dan Snyder, the petulant, football-adverse owner of the Washington #ChangeTheMascot.
Look, even if you can somehow doublethink yourself into accepting a racial slur as a legitimate team name and thus appropriate for usage in everyday conversation, the man’s down with Dan Snyder. Just look at this unabashed fellating of a New Jersey governor on an owner of a divisional rival, for fuck’s sake:
You know what happened to Christie’s standing after that game? He dropped like a stone, losing millions of supporters overnight. Well, that would’ve happened, if Christie actually had any support to begin with.
So how does The Donald weigh in on the most public show of institutionalized racism in America? How do you think?
“I know Indians that are extremely proud of that name … They think it’s a positive.”
Yeah, surrrrrrrrrrrre. Except for actual Native American groups, one of which responded to this classic us/them pigeonholing with “It is hardly surprising that a candidate who labeled Mexican immigrants rapists and calls women ‘pigs’ now says he wants the NFL to continue slurring Native Americans. Donald Trump joins some of the NFL’s ignoble fraternity of billionaires who sit in their office suites and owners boxes happily spending their fortunes denigrating people of color.”
Even if you have no problems voting for such a blatantly out-of-touch one-percenter like Trump and even if you have the cajones to actually argue with Natives about honor, are you seriously gonna vote for a guy who backs these on-field – o yeah, I’m gonna say it – losers?
So, should you be tempted to tick that box next to Donald Trump’s name in November, just remember: A vote for Trump is a vote for Tom Brady. And racism. And haters of spring football.
– written by Os Davis